How to co-parent with your Former Partner successfully
What is co-parenting
Co-parenting is an arrangement whereby two parents come together to provide mutually beneficial care, support, and guidance to their child or children. In co-parenting situations, both parties are equally responsible for the child’s upbringing and share the responsibility of providing a suitable environment for their growth and development. Successful co-parenting requires each parent to respect the other’s roles and responsibilities in raising their shared child and consider any differences between them that may arise from separate parenting styles. With open communication and mutual respect, co-parents can successfully co-exist while helping to create a secure environment where their children can thrive.
Benefits of co-parenting
Co-parenting is a positive experience for both the co-parents and their shared children. Studies have shown that co-parenting can lead to more secure attachments between children and their parents and improve academic performance in school and overall psychological well-being for all involved. Co-parenting also helps reduce parental conflict, which ultimately benefits the relationship of co-parents with their shared children.
By understanding the importance of co-parenting and successfully employing co-parenting techniques, co-parents can create a supportive environment for their children’s growth and development. With effort from each parent, co-parenting can provide a positive experience for co-parents and their shared child or children alike.
10 RULES OF GOOD EX-ETIQUETTE FOR CO-PARENTING
You may not be a couple anymore, but you will always be on the same team for the best interests of your children.
This didn’t come from us but we thought it was a great insight into making it work, courtesy of Dr. Jann Blackstone. Read her full article about these ten items here. Also archived here.
Put the children first.
Ask for help if you need it
Biological parents make the rules; bonus (step) parents uphold them.
Don’t be spiteful.
Don’t hold grudges.
Use empathy when problem solving.
Be honest and straight forward.
Respect each other’s turf.
Compromise whenever possible.
Useful tips for positive Co-Parenting
Remember, children always remember how you made them feel even if they don’t remember the exact words.
Never bad mouth the other parent or question the children about their time with the other. As tempting as it might be, it puts the child in a difficult position and increases their stress at a time you should be doing all you can to reduce it. Kids grow up making their opinion about how their parents behaved – don’t be the one they ultimately look as the one that made things difficult for them. The one that made them feel uncomfortable when asked about the other parent or hearing bad things about the other parent. They always remember how you made them feel even if they don’t remember the exact words. And if the other parent does it, the kids will usually see and understand that in time.
- Make their time with you great! Even the shortest time with your kids, as long as it’s positive and they walk away with good memories, is preferable to lots of time that’s negative. Kids eventually grow up and make their own decisions; your focus really needs to be on providing them the safest most positive / protective time you can regardless of the circumstances. You cannot change how the other parent behaves but you can control what you do and what your child experiences with you, so ignore the other parent and create great memories for your kids when they are with you. When you do have your children enjoy them!