Haven’t we heard this, time and again…
While we were married, he worked long hours, rarely helped with household chores, barely had time for the kids. Just spent his free time doing whatever he loved.
Well, this could be one side of the story, but as we all know, there is always another view.
Many men tell us: While we were married, I worked most of the time because I felt it was my duty to
be the financial backbone of my family.
I did not help in most household chores because she was absolutely fantastic in handling the house.
And when it came to parenting, I understood she knew the best about raising kids and I just followed her.
Separation usually comes as a tremendous shock for a good proportion of men as most don’t see it
They often fail to see the signs and when it does happen, the shock and loss can create massive emotional trauma.
If you are an alienated dad and stress over not being able to spend time with your kids or blame yourself and feel ashamed for what happened.
There is help and support to get you emotionally back on track.
Being the Best Dad for your kids will require you to walk a long journey of personal growth, persistence, and a constant focus on what is best for your kids.
You will ALWAYS be their dad – it might just look a bit different post breakup.
Try understanding how important you are, try believing that your active participation in bringing up
your child is absolutely necessary for their wellbeing.
Rather than doubting your selfworth, prove to your ex-partner and kids what you are capable of. After all kids need both parents, right?
We understand that non-custodial dads are likely to experience the effects of a divorce in many
different ways – their self esteem might take a dip, their quality of life might go haywire but there is
always a solution to each and every problem.
Thus, instead of brooding over why it happened and then blaming yourself for it, why not make the best of the time you have with your children and learn how to be a great dad despite any restricted legal arrangements.
It is surely not easy to make the most of a bad situation but it is undoubtedly possible to try or continue being a great dad despite your separation.
So, all the very best to all the dads out there struggling with mental trauma related to separation or
Remember there is enough support around to help you find a way to cope up with the
trying situation and also do remember that one can always find light at the end of every tunnel,
some tunnels might just appear longer than the others!!
Parents Beyond Breakup exists solely to support non-custodial parents going through feelings of
hopelessness, helplessness and feeling suicidal. We offer a team of like minded Dads who have all
been down a similar road, and can really empathise and stand alongside you.